Hey Dad
by Alexandr11
Summary: When you need to talk about something. One person is always there. When you need comfort. One person is always there. When you feeling overwhelmed. One person is always there. First Fanfiction. Rated T for concept. Naomi's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Fist fanfiction, so hit me with you best shot. Give me all you got so I can get better. **

**Concept: AU. Naomi needs someone to talk to so who else but her dad.**

**Don't own skins **

"Hey Dad." I whispered as I looked at the gravestone. I sighed as a tear escaped my eye. It had been forever since I needed to talk to my dad.

Back when he was alive, it was Naomi and dad against the world. We played games all the time. My dad was my hero.

When I was ten years old he died suddenly and it tore me to pieces. My mom tried to comfort me, but I only wanted my dad back.

Through the years I made a habit of visiting the grave when I was overly troubled. I talked to him when we started all that communal living bollocks. I talked to him when I started at college. I even talked to him when I came to terms with my sexual orientation.

"I want to tell you about this girl." I continued as I touched the top of the gravestone. I sat down on the grass behind the stone and leaned against the back. "She's everything I ever wanted! She is so beautiful and funny and smart and she's just...perfect. Her eyes are so captivating, dad. Every time I look into them I just get lost and can't remember how to even function." I huffed out. I sighed again and looked at the grey sky.

I smiled a little at the thought of this girl. "Look at me dad, I can't even talk to you without her invading my mind." I chuckled sadly.

"You're probably wondering why I'm here since I generally only come when I need comfort. Well the truth is dad that I don't know what I should do. I've never felt this way about any other human. It isn't because she's a girl. It's because I don't think I'm right for her. I mean I'm not the nicest person in the world. She's the complete opposite of me."

I was so engrossed in talking to my dad that I didn't notice the footfalls approaching. I didn't notice the pair of deep brown perfect eyes staring at me and crying. I didn't notice the horrible worried look on the perfect girl's face.

"Dad she's caring and sweet and I can't believe she's giving me a chance. I've kind of been a right prick to her and she's given me more chances than I can count."

"And I'll keep giving you more." a husky voice interrupted me. I moved to see a petite red head standing slightly to my left. She looked like she had been crying for hours. It made my stomach churn to see her eyes swollen red and her cheeks tear stained. I got to my feet looking at her sheepishly.

"I don't care about anything in the world other than you. I want us to keep going on dates and to laugh at the most random of things like when we laughed at the word oils. I want us to steal kisses when we're watching movies or reading books." she sobbed out the words tumbling from her lips like a waterfall over a cliff.

Through her speech i closed the distance. I brought her chin up with my finger and looked into her eyes. I say so many emotions hurt, comfort, grieve, sadness, loneliness, and love. There was so much love that it grabbed onto my heart and hugged it tightly.

I brought my lips crashing to hers. I needed to feel the love I had for her. I needed her to know how sorry I was. I just needed her. Her fingers played in the hair at the nape of my neck. I grabbed onto her waist and pulled her closer to my body.

When we came back for air I rested my forehead on hers. Just breathing in her scent which was always smelled like baked goods.

"Emily...I...can we.. can we just go back to the way it was before? I'm so sorry and.." I choked out until a pair of soft lips attached themselves to mine.

This kiss was slower and full of understanding. It wasn't hurried like the other one. It was just like her.

"Yeah." she whispered when we broke apart. I took her hand and pulled her gently toward the exit. Before we got to far away I shoot a glance at the grave and mumble a thank you. I looked at the beauty beside me. "I love you, Emily." I said to her and only her.

"I know" she replied looking at me with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Well here is Chapter two because I got a review asking for more and why not. I'm not really busy. That's a lie I got basketball, everyday and Chemistry work that I keep neglecting but oh well. **

**Any who I'm not a sharer so on with the story.**

**I don't own skins. **

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><p>"Hey Dad!" I nearly screamed out in the empty cemetery. I was pissed, beyond pissed. I flopped to the ground. I took off the backpack I was carrying. I took out the bottle of vodka from the front pocket and took a huge gulp of spirits.<p>

I stay silent for a little bit. I closed my eyes and counted slowly to ten. With a sigh I whispered "I can't do this anymore. I don't think I can do it." I was beginning to feel the tears coming on.

"Dad, I caught her. I saw her with my own eyes. You know the girl I was properly snogging last time I was here? Oh by the way sorry about that. But yes, little miss perfect!" I spat the last world like it left a foul taste in my mouth. I took a sip of the vodka. I grimaced as it burned its way down my throat. I hated vodka but whatever.

"You know what," I chuckled a little at this, " it was probably my fault. I guess I 'pushed her away'. What can I say, dad. Even so she didn't have to do it. She didn't have to throw everything away. She didn't have to.. have to break my heart." I said the last part quietly while i looked at the label on the bottle.

"Emily…she...she kissed another girl." There I said it out loud. "This wasn't one of those drunken dare kisses either, this was a pinned to a wall hands roaming around kisses. There she was with a coworker of hers snogging like horny teenagers." I put the bottle down and rested my head in my hands. I took a deep breath.

"I caught them, that slime ball, Beth, or Carrie or something, had her hands all over my Emily. I was frozen to the spot when I saw them. Dad it was so weird it felt like I wasn't really there. Like I was watching some other gross bitch lip lock with a different red headed girl." I was practically in tears now.

"When they broke apart I saw a look of fear cross over her face and she stated my name with a hint of terror rising in her voice. And dad don't think bad of me but I ran. I turned right around and ran. I ran into Katie, that's Emily's twin, I shoved her. I didn't stop until I got to mom's where I cried for an hour." My voice broke a little. I brought my sleeve up to rub my eyes and nose.

"I.." started to say until I was roughly pulled to my feet. I struggled a little until I felt a burning sensation on my cheek. My hand shot up to my left cheek and I looked back at my attacker. It was a woman I could tell but my vision was blurred as this person grabbed my shirt again and shock me fiercely.

"You've got about thirty second to tell me what you're fucking deal is, before I beat the shit out of you." A husky voice shouted at me. It had a slight lisp to it and it sprinkler patterned me a little. I know that voice.

"Katie?" I asked still having most of my attention to my cheek. "did you slap me?"

"Cheeky Campbell," She spat her fist pulling more on my shirt.

Swatting her hand away from my favorite long sleeved navy blue shirt I replied. "Why are you here?" I sat right back down and attempted to take a sip from the vodka bottle.

Katie smacked it away from me and roughly dragged me back to my feet. She was frowning so much it looked like she was snarling at me.

"Ok I won't sit down." I shrugged out. I gasped as a second slap connected with my still tender cheek. "The fuck!" I screamed looking at a still frowning Katie Fitch.

"Cut the bull shit, what did you do to my sister Captain planet." she growled at me.

I thought about making a joke about being called captain planet or about her growling but a look into her eyes and my cheek screaming at me, I decided that I should just tell her. "I didn't do shit. She kissed another girl."

"Oh you mean that Beth or Ashley girl that tagged along with her last week. The one that I beat into a pulp for putting her greasy hand on my baby sister. The one that kissed her and practically forced herself on Emily." She yelled at me "Honestly you ran into me so fast last week I thought you were going to find her for some whatever it is you lezzars do in bed ,but when I found Emsy crying out for help and that bitch attached to her neck leech style, I lost it."

I really tried to focus on to what Katie was saying ,but she was so animated with her speech. I just was wondering how does someone so small have so much energy. She was waving and pacing, it was crazy. I looked at her feet and noticed she had on heels also. She was just waltzing around balanced and screaming something to me but not a single word was registering in my mind.

"And... Oh my God!" she said grabbing my shoulders and shaking them quickly, "You're not even listening to me. Now I know how Mum feels."

"Yeah, that's nice." I said regaining my balance and smoothing the wrinkles in my shirt again. "If you don't mind I'm kinda in the middle of something, so bugger off yeah?"

"No." she huffed "You're gonna fix this. Emily has been crying since last week. And even though I love her like fierce I can't take it anymore. So you're going to pick up your little bag, go to a flower shop and buy her some flowers. Then you're going to apologize and listen to what she tells you."

"Why should I?" I snapped back at her shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans.

"Because you love her to much to let one little kiss ruin your whole relationship. Also because when you fucked up the last time she listened to you and forgave you and took you back, even though I told her to forget you sorry arse." She stated matter of factly.

"Wow Katie Thanks," I said sarcastically "Yet you have a point and as much as it pains me to say...you're right. Although I'm not bringing flowers."

"Good enough." she said with a smirk. "Here" she handed me keys and started to walk away.

"Wait what are these for?" I asked inspecting the keys.

"Key to my flat. You don't know where she was. Plus I don't want to be there awkwardly if you to start going at it like bunny rabbits" She said without looking back at me and like that she was gone.

"OK fine then." I said looking at the keys. I had to two decisions blow off Emily or talk to Emily.

Half and hour later I was looking at the door of Katie's flat. Sighing I put the key in the lock and pushed the door open.

"You know what Katie I think I'm gonna go find her and she if…" A husky voice said as a girl rounded the corner. Her eyes met mine and she her voice died in her throat.

"Surprise" I said looking at Emily. There was a pregnant pause of silence. The tension was so thick it felt like i was drowning in air.

"I'm so sorry" She cried. She didn't dare to move. She just looked at the floor like it would tell her everything she needed to know. I instantly couldn't stay mad at her. I need to wipe away hers tear at that moment.

"Did you enjoy it?" I asked willing my legs to stay in place.

"No. I would never" she stammered out as her head snapped up "I couldn't." Her eyes were welling up with tears.

"Okay." I said. "It's okay. I understand." I cooed giving in and walking to her. I wrapped her in my arms and just let her cry. I whispered sweet nothings in her ear as I hugged her. I realized that I didn't care as long as I got this girl in my arms.


	3. Chapter 3

**Here it is the new chapter of Hey Dad. So there will actually be an authors note at the bottom because I don't want to spoil it for people. I'm hoping to put another chapter up next Tuesday. **

**I don't know skins.**

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><p>"Hey dad." I said pulling the jacket closer around my frame. It was January and the weather was a little bit shit.<p>

"Dad how did you propose to mom? I know it's a little silly to ask you this now but I don't know who else to turn to." I asked brushing off the snow from the top of the grave. I lit a fag and took a slow drag. I finished it before I started to speak. I need to calm my nerves a little

"Did you go all flashy and ask her on a date? Or did you ask her when you were just lounging around the house on a rainy day? Or was it a spur of the moment type of proposal ,that was out before you could really figure out what you just stated?" I wondered. I just looked at the grave like it was going to tell me a tale of my parents proposal.

I needed to get ideas on how to ask Emily. I didn't want it to be horrible. I wanted it to be perfect just like her. It had to be special. It had to convey just how I felt about her.

"I'm so lost, dad." I stated. "I love her to much to cock it up. I need her to say yes. Every Time she's away I feel like an empty shell I feel like I'm worse off without her." I signed.

I pulled out a little ring box. "I even got a ring, dad. Look at me I can't take my mind off of her." I chuckled.

The ring was a white gold two piece bridal setting. It was delicate and feminine like her body. I know it sounds pervy but it was actually eloquent and graceful like her. The diamond itself is pear shaped. It made it seem more powerful and queen like. Even though Emily is the younger twin, to me she is a princess, a queen that rued her court with a kind and gentle heart. It had smaller diamonds coming down the wider part of the diamond that just made it look like the main diamond had few followers. Emily had people flock to her. She was a social butterfly and I was a wallflower.

I didn't move the ring in fear I would drop it in the snow and lose it forever. I just smiled at the little piece of jewelry as it was a living thing. As if it spoke words to me.

It had started to snow a little and as I put the box back into my pocket I adjusted the hat I had on my head little.

So many things had happened since the start of the new year. Effy had come back in town. She was studying at an American school for a major in psychology. Thomas and Pandora had a bright baby boy. Cook and Katie finally stopped beating around the bush, and with a little help started a relationship. Ems held her first art show for her photography. All these wonderful things happen to everyone and here I am with nothing to show for the previous year.

Sure I got Emily, but she could have any girl she wanted. I wasn't good enough for her. She was a famous artist now. I was just Naomi Campbell average citizen. She was a goddess of beauty. I was plain Jane. She was my everything.

I took the ring out again. I liked the look of it. It reminded me of Emily and her perfection. It was a testament to our love and sort of like a new start to a chapter of our lives.

"Ems." I breathed smiling at the ring once more. "I love you so much it hurts. I feel scared with you, yet so comfortable. You make me feel so alive. I would go to the ends of the earth for you. I would sing until my voice gives out if you wanted it. I need you Emily, like the heart needs a beat or the lungs need oxygen." sighing I looked at the grave again. "Will you marry me?" I asked to no one in particular. I took a pause then shook my head.

"How was that?" I asked to the gravestone.

"Yes" came a reply form behind me.

There she was. She stood in the snow looking at me with tears in her my eyes. The snow falling around her gently. Some flakes in her hair making the bright red pop against the black of the night sky. Cheeks and nose a little red from the cold are.

"What?" I asked pushing out in fear, that I had just heard it. That Emily wasn't really there. That the cold night was just playing tricks on me.

Strolling towards me in display of grace she stood in front of me. Her breath coming out in puffs. "Yes, I'll marry you."

I couldn't take it. I pulled her roughly to my body in a kiss of pure love. Emily wanted to marry me. She wanted me for me. She wanted plain Jane wallflower Naomi Campbell. She wanted to be my wife and me to be hers.

I released her from the kiss resting my forehead on hers. We just breathed together. We savored the moment for as long as we could. I pulled the ring out and brought it up to show her. She gasped a little and pulled me for another kiss.

This one was slower, yet more passionate than the last kiss. Her gloved hands were on my cheeks and I almost dropped the ring during the initial shock of her soft lips on mine.

When we broke apart I slipped the ring on her finger and hugged her tightly. Her head resting on my left side because I knew she liked to listen to the sound of my heart beating. MY head rested on her head breathing in the scent of her.

"Naomi?" she asked and I pulled away to look her in the eye. "Can we go home its freezing out here."

I chuckled a little at he. "Yeah." I said nodding. "For you I'd go anywhere."

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><p><strong>OK so this is for a visual to the ring. Its actually on the Kay Jewelers website. I'm gonna try and put a link up so that you guys can view it and hopefully make this story more realistic. engagement-rings/wedding-sets/ring/item25_11149/ if it doesn't work just got to the Kay website choose design a ring and pick wedding setting, white gold, and pear shaped diamond. It should be like one of the fist ones its called 2-Peice Bridal Setting 1/3 ct tw Diamonds 14k White Gold.**

**If you can't find it however then my description of it will have to do. Please review **

**Alex. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey. well here it is. I know it's kinda short but what do you expect from a girl on her birthday who just played a basketball game. (We won not that you guys care).**

**This one is a little far from the hurt and or comfort side its more fluffy goo. Again because IM tired and I can do what I want. **

**Review as always I guess and I don't own skins. **

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><p>"Hey Dad" I said a little out of breath. I had jogged here as to not get sweaty and ruin the make up that took hours to do.<p>

I wore a simple white dress and ha my blonde locks curled slightly. "You guessed it today is the day." I said smiling at the grave. It was actually a beautiful day in March. It wasn't freezing and the flakes of snow that had fallen added a winter wonderland look to everything.

"Today is the day I make her mine, dad" I said with a little excitement in my voice. "Today is the day I marry Emily Fitch."

I wanted to sing. I wanted to dance. I wanted to crash my lips on hers and die of an Emily overdose. I just wanted Emily.

These last couple times I came here seemed like far off problems. Petty cheating and petty misunderstanding. The proposal that took place here was rushed and unplanned, but it came out perfect.

Emily wasn't one for perfection. She didn't need the "Perfect Boyfriend, (or girlfriend in her case)" to make her happy. She was chaos in an orderly fashion. She was light and darkness in a package.

"I just hope I can make her happy." I chuckled. I didn't have fears about the friendship happiness aspect of this marriage. Hell I didn't have fears about the sexual happiness because lets face it, I"m a beast in the sack. I had fears about the lasting friendship.

I heard the word agape used before. I was a deep selfless love. A love that I would give my whole being up for her. Thats what I wanted our marriage to be about agape love.

I must have stayed a little too long at the grave because i heard a loud Oi sound from my best mate and best man Cook.

"Noamio? What you doing out here? Shouldn't you be tying the knot with little Red?" He asked softly and unCook like.

"Sorry Cook." I said "just needed to see my Dad." I wiped away a lone tear that escaped.

"OH man you're not backing out are you?" He asked a little frightened at the mere thought of it.

I chuckled out a refusal and told him how sometimes I come to my fathers grave to talk about Everyday life. From nightmares of a lost or dead Emily to daydreams of a world filled with Emily, it doesn't matter. It seems this grave knows more about my life that any other thing on the planet including myself.

"That's deep man" Cook said with a knod. "You ,Naoimikins, have grow up alot in these past years since college." It seemed like forever we were trapped in the slum days of college drama. Who was with who and what to wear. Everywhere you turned it was keep up that image. There was a turning point in it all though. Everyone says it was the death of our good pal Freddie in a tragic car accident but i believe it came sooner that thant. I think it was when the twins started becoming different people and Emily came out about being gay.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I had been so thrilled and terrified to know that my redheaded goddess was into women. I was too afraid to talk to her about it, but in time we developed a healthy relationship.

I allowed Cook to drive me back to the park where our wedding was being held. Friends and family were gathered into small groups waiting for the bride to take her bride.

Emily looked so happy and beautiful that day that I think I may never smile again. The service was performed perfectly to the letter. Thats when the magic happened. Right as I leaned in to kiss her it IT started snowing again.

When I pulled away a few were in her fiery red hair and it made her that much more stunning.

The reception afterwards was fantastic. Jenna even hugged me. I know crazy I thought she hated my guts. Emily and I danced the night away.

Near the end when we were just sitting together in a chair. Her resting on my lap and my arms and hand wrapped around her I thought I could fall asleep it was so peaceful.

"I love you Naomi" She said resting her head on my shoulder.

"Yeah" I joked "Good because you stuck with me till death to us part. And not even then my Dear. That's that agape love."  
>"Agape?" she asked in a soft whisper.<p>

"Selfless love" I said nuzzling her neck.

"Then that's what we will be agape love." She said with a faint smile and a little laugh. Man I loved this girl.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys sorry I'm late. I was trying to come up with an excuse on why I was going to be late. *Insert pity laugh***

**Anywho I've been busy with choir and chem. work and basketball and sickness so... also I had a little bit of writers block and the only thing that popped up was ideas for the last chapter and it felt a little to early to end this. So I guess the moral of the story is (work till your arms fall off...) Rest. Also remember Love is an open door. (This has nothing to do with anything)**

**Warming: Kinda on the fluffy side.**

**I don't own skins.**

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><p>"Hey dad." I said pulling the petite woman with me. "This, as you probably know is Emily. I decided to bring her with me this time.'<p>

I set up the blanket we brought and sat down. Helping Emily to the ground I wrapped my arms around her stomach and leaned my head on her shoulder. It was times like these that I found I loved her more. This silence that enveloped us was not uncomfortable at all.

After a while I stated "Dad, Emily's pregnant. Isn't that great." my hold strengthened then released. She smiled at me and kissed my cheek.

"I know what you're thinking, 'great a grandchild." I said in an unnaturally deep voice. "I'm happy dad. I got the love of my life and her child is also mine. What more can I want?" I ended with a chuckle.

We sat in another comfortable silence. I listened to Emily breath. The soft whistle of air rushing in and out of her nose. It was then that I wondered what our child would look like. She was so beautiful that I hoped it came out like her. Not that I wasn't that pretty it's just that I'm more plain while Emily is extraordinary.

We went to the sperm bank and looked for guys that were tall and had blue eyes. There were a ton with that description. We narrowed it down to sandy blonde hair color. Still there were a good amount of choices, but we finally found him. He looked just like me in guy form and I knew Emily was onboard with this. She was a little nervous since she would be the one carrying it. I talked with her and comforted her. I supported her through the beginning. She was one of those really mourning sick pregnancies. That means I held her hair a lot and brought her water after. I rubbed her feet and carried her to bed (Only once though because she hated it).

"Oh dad and guess what. It's not a twin. I know what you thinking why is this happy news. Well it isn't really happy news more like factorial. This kid is going to be our first so okay that he or she isn't' doubled." I said this is almost a monotone voice. I didn't want to ramble on but I was drawing a blank at what to say to this grave.

Emily looked at me as I spaced out about this new life. I could kind of see her but when I talk to my dad the world just vanishes. I feel so at peace and like nothing can hurt me. I don't worry about the future because I can live in the present.

"Ems, why don't you talk." I said returning to my previous mental state.

"Are you sure?" she asked with little confidence.

I nodded my head and closed my eyes. It was something about Emily's voice that calmed my nerves. The way it can out deeper than expected. The way it chuckled when happy. The warble it did in an nonverbal agreement. It was a symphony of sound that kept ringing and ringing in my ears.

"Ok, umm...Hey Naomi's Dad." She said tilting her head up a little and looking at the clouds. "Where do I start?" she was thinking slightly until it seemed that she got her inspiration.

"I am totally in love with you daughter." she said with a slight chuckle. "Yet she drives me so crazy I can't stand it. She is always around seeing if I need help or how I'm feeling or is I'm hungry or some other lame excuse. Sometimes it feels like she's smothering me, but I know she loves me fully."

I was a little worried when I heard her talk about me but I smiled at then end. She was the cutest thing on the planet and I was so lucky to have her.

"She is also the most creative person I know. She doesn't think she's good at anything, but the way she writes and cooks and don't get me started on her singing voice. You must have been very proud of her as a child." Emily continued looking up more at the clouds.

"She's also passionate about anything she's involved with. When she's telling me about her work she is so animated with her speaking. Her hands move in funny little gestures and her eyes seem to say more than her mouth does. They sparkle and burn and even grow dark depending on the topic." She relived looking at the ground. She was welling up a little with tears as she said all of this.

Emily wiped her eyes and sniffled a little. "Sorry for the water works its these hormones. Anyway Sometimes when she speaks, I find myself too distracted by her passion that I don't hear a word she says. I know thats horrible, but I can't help it she fascinated me."

Her voice had raised a little at the excitement of her word. I kissed her shoulder and nuzzled her neck all the while. She was so soft and smelled so good I was intoxicated by her. All my senses were of Emily. The way she sat in my arms the darker red almost crimson look of her newly dyed hair. The rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.

She turned a bit in my arms and whispered, "Can we just sit like this?"

"Yeah." I stated. kissing her again "Yeah we can."

We stayed like that for a while. The clouds drifted onto their next adventure. The sun fell low in the sky. The air chilled and a light breeze fell over us. Emily was shivering a little and I felt it was time to go. It was getting a little late and I was started to get hungry so I know Emily was. She never really let me help her with these things.

I stood up and pulled her with me. Picking up the blanket I folded and draped it over my arm.

"Shall we." I said in a fake butler-type accent. I extended my free arm to her and looked at my angel with a goofy grin.

"Let's" she stated. she smiled and wrapped her arm around mine. She leaned her head on my shoulder and half followed me out. I heard her whisper a good bye to the now lonely grave as we walked away. She smiled up at me and said a little louder "Agape."

"Always." I replied back looking at her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey, Here I am! Wow it's been kinda a long time. Its been kinda busy. Basketball and chem the usually. Although This weekend is gonna be the most busy weekend ever. Sleep overs and singing and concerts. **

**Ok so enough blabbering. This chapter contains mentions of suicide and suicidal moments. So I guess you don't have to read this one, but you're missing out. Also I don't own skins. Please review if you want.**

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><p>"Hey Dad" I said a little solemnly as I looked to the grave. The weather had warmed up a little. This day was perfect. It was only slightly cloudy but enough that you could go cloud watching. The temperature was perfect not too chilly not too hot. The sun shown with a perfect balance of light.<p>

I sighed again as I looked at the grave. The outside world may be perfect but my inner mind was swirling with a ton of random nothings. I was a wreck. I barely got any sleep and I was falling behind in my work.

"Dad, you may not want to hear this but, I wish it would just end." I started looking at my hands then rubbing them through my hair. "I just feel so overwhelmed."

With Emily pregnant with our first child and my job not going so well, I felt like I was in a pit and sinking quickly. I had nowhere to run and the walls were closing in fast. I mean this isn't the first time that I felt like ending everything, but this time it felt overly unhopeful.

I took several deep breaths and sat there. One voice in my head screamed at me. It yelled stuff like you fine, and pick your head up. The voice that my mind ears focused on thought was a whisper.

The whisper was in everyone's voice. In my mom's, in Emily's voice, in the voice of the bagging girl at the supermarket. I said things like they don't actually mean it. They aren't really your friends. They don't really love you. It's words were more realistic. These voices gave examples. They showed flashbacks to my minds eye.

"I'm so sorry." I said finally letting the tears fall. "I'm so sorry."

Every emotion flowed through my body. It was like an overdose on hormones. My eyes blurred and I could see the rejection on my loved ones faces. They looked at me with pity and distrust. There lips in a discussed facial expression. It seemed like they were sick and about to throw up from the mere sight of me. I feel like I don't belong and that everyone is tolerating me for the sake of my own mental state.

"It's just so fragile. Everything could be over in a second." I said repeating the words Emily told me once when I had climbed the tree to get that kids cat. The branch broke and I fell about ten feet before I caught another branch. "My life is so worthless, but priceless at the same time."

"Dad its bad this time. I've had flashes of suicides. I saw myself jumping in front of moving traffic. I've been dealing again and see some drug lord lacky shooting my head off. I have even seen myself jumping from the roof of our building and dying from that. I feel sick every time but also something else." I said to my knees which have found their way squeezed to my chest.

These visions happen and the whispering voice gets a little louder. It says so close to my ear the most horrible things. It tells me to end it. It tells me that Emily won't even cry when I'm gone. That's when the flashes come from a future like stat. Emily and everyone else are at a bar talking and joking. Someone says something about me and they all start just taking the piss. They say hurtful things and it crushes my heart every time.

I feel so down that I can't think straight. I just sit there listening to my own breathing. This is horrible. I can hear the whispers constantly saying things. The shouting voice gave up a couple of days ago. Isn't that sad. My own consciousness is giving up on me. It has accepted the fact that I and probably going to kill myself.

I lower my knees and look out the rest of the graveyard. No one is around. All the graves area arranged neatly in rows and columns. They are all the same distance away from each other. The symmetry is perfectly in place.

I pulled the old pocket knife out my front pocket. It was from my dad and it was the one of the two things that I really kept track of after he died. The other was a silver pocket watch that I kept on me at all time. Even know it ticked in my pocket just counting the time as it goes by. MY time though stood still as I looked at the closed knife.

I popped it open and examined the blade. It shown in the light and glisten when shifted. The steel blade was still in perfect conditions. Not a single scratch was on it. I smiled at it.

"Remember, Dad when I asked for this." I chuckled pushing the blade to my wrist and feeling the cold steel against the warm flesh. "You told me know I could hurt myself. I cried for hours because I really wanted it. I remember the next day you got me a fake one that and I was so happy. Mom was pissed though." I laughed a little. the blade was removed from my wrist and examined again.

I brought my right wrist up to my lips. I kissed it softly and closed my eyes. When I opened them I looked at the tattoo there. It was a key that was heart shaped at the end. "Remember this tattoo?" I said sobering a little. "I wanted something meaningful and you always said I held the key to your heart so."

Just like that a new voice arose in my mind. It was clear and comforting. It didn't whisper like the voice of misery. It didn't scream like the voice of encouragement. It spoke in a normal voice and filled with so much love. It only said one thing. My dads voice rang clear through my head. It said Naomi. I looked to the sky. I couldn't hear the whispers anymore.

Folding the knife I put it back in my pocket. I stood and brushed the grass off of my jeans. The wind blew gently and ruffled my hair a little. I looked around and finally noticed how beautiful it was today. I saw the world in a new light. I realized something also. No matter how tough it would get, I had a dream and I couldn't give up on that. I had a purpose for my life and it needed to be fulfilled.

"Thanks dad." I said walking away. I hummed an upbeat march as I went home to take Emily on a date. I could do this and nothing was going to kill me.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey guy I'm sorry this is a little late, but that's what WinterFest is all about. That's a lie Winterfest is about school spirit so I've been busy with decorating. Crazy, I know, I left my room. **

**So I was Listening to the every wonderful song Blank Space by Taylor Swift and "I thought 'Oh my god, I can see, that this song, would fit Katie. Someone please write this song fic yeah" *you imagining me singing this to the tune of blank space* Ok lame attempt comedy to put you in a slightly happy mood for this a little on the sad side chapter over. Warning or notice that there will me a little bit of emotional Naomily fluff at the end so please read and review. **

**Wow ok I over ran my talking limit, I no own skins :(**

* * *

><p>"Hey Dad." I said with a voice of joy mixed with a little sadness. "You my fine father are now a Grandpa."<p>

I looked at the grave and chuckled. It was funny how life could change with every passing minute. One moment your dad's still alive the next you're burying him. One moment you're happy the next sad, or one moment you're just an adult the next you're a mother.

"Dad, he is the most perfect thing in the world. He has the clearest blue eyes and the cutest button nose. He honestly looks like a blue eyed boy Emily. He has a patch of dark colored hair on his head and his mouth seems to be in a permanent smile."

I smiled at the memory of his face. I never knew the birth of one person would cause so many emotions in my heart. It wasn't even fair. He already controlled my whole life and he couldn't even utter a single word.

"Although dad he almost didn't make it. He came into this world at little prematurely. He was so small and he wasn't breathing at first. The were able to get him breathing but when they ran test on him to make sure he was okay they found a whole in his heart. He had to have open heart surgery."

This part made my eyes water. Emily had shut down when she didn't hear his cries. She didn't even get back to her old self when they took him for testing. Her eyes were empty and she wasn't responsive. I tried to comfort her but nothing really worked. That is until they brought him back and allowed her to hold him. Her eyes came back to life and she smiled the biggest grin in the world. She looked so beautiful it almost blinded me with the shire beauty of it all.

"Oh don't worry he's okay now. They only found that to be the only thing, but they want to run more test and make sure he's stable. I'm only here because Emily got a little annoyed with me waiting on her hand and foot and told me if I don't leave her alone she was going to kill me."

I sighed loudly. The air felt cool and the day was turning out to be actually not shitty. It seemed like the world was in tune with my mood. It wasn't joyfully sunny but it wasn't pissing rain depressing.

"The thing is dad, I don't know how to take care of a baby. I don't know how to be a good mother. What if he hates me, hates us for the life we have? What if Something happens to him and I'm not there? What if I die and it has a negative effect on him?" I let all these negative things wash over me. I felt so worthless. I felt like I had already fail this child and nothing I did now would make up for it.

This was a big fear for parents. What if they fail their children. No mother wants her child to grow up to be a murderer or a rapist or to commit suicide. They wanted their child to succeed in life. To be the best they can be.

I heaved another sigh. Then snapped to attention. "I don't think I told you his name." I said to the grave. "You'll like it. Emily picked it out. She wanted something special, so she named him Riley Eric Fitch-Campbell. I know she named him after you dad."

I felt a tear run down my face. "Why did you have to leave me? Why did you have to die? I didn't want you to go. I wasn't ready to be on my own dad. "

The tears came at full force almost. Nothing was stopping them. They flowed

out with no end in sight. I realized I hadn't cried since the last time I was here. Since I almost killed myself. I was holding back all these emotions and now it was finally overflowing.

"This world is a horrible place." I said after I calmed a little. "It's full of horrible people and events and I want Riley to be able to do anything. I want him to be happy and to be loved. I want the world to know he's special and I want Emily to be happy with me."

I didn't know where that last one came, but i could feel like I really meant it. I wanted Emily to be happy. She brought a baby into this world. she is so incredible. She made life and that is the most awesome the human body can do.

"Sorry to cut this short Dad, but I have to go talk to Emily."

.

.

.

"Ems?" I said walking into the hospital room. She was rocking Riley in her arms. She looked at him with so much love. It's funny in this place there is birth and there is death. There are miracles and tragedies.

"Naoms?" She says looking up and smiling "He's so wonder...Naoms?" She caught sight of my puffy face and the concern etched into her eyes. That's what I loved about her eyes. You could see every Emotion Pass through them. My eyes only showed what I wanted, but Emily's showed her soul.

"Naoms?" She said again now an arms length away. She held Riley a little closer and he whimpered feeling her anxiety.

"Ems, I…" I tried to speak but I could feel the word catching in my throat." I took a deep breath. Riley whimpering a little louder the longer I hesitated.

"I'm so sorry." I said leaning my head on her shoulder. I didn't hugger her because I was afraid I would crush Riley if I did.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. please forgive me." I said starting round two of the water works.

"Naoms." she cooed as she tried to settle me and Riley. She lead me to the bed she sat me down and handed me our son.

I looked at his perfect face. "I'm sorry." I mumbled "I'm sorry, but I'm going to fail you little, guy. I'm going to make mistakes and I can't control it. I'm going to make you cry and I going to cause chaos. I'm sorry for putting you into that situation."

Ems watched me talk to our son about the failures in the future. She sniffled and put her arms lightly around my shoulders. "Naoms you're going to be a great mom. Riley loves you, I love you. No matter what happens in Life we have each other and we can make it through everything."

I looked at her and knodded. My eyes must have displayed the signs of comfort, because she kissed my head and smiled at me. This is why I hate my eyes. They told the world I was happy but inside I felt like the worse was yet to come. I hope that it's just new mom jitters.


End file.
